Stuff I removed FROM THE SOS, for one reason or another…
-And yes. I really did catch that trout all by myself
Sexual Abuse and Shame
The shame and the blame do not belong to the victim – it is a choice made by the perpetrator. -Tom (whose last name I don't know - just heard him being cited as ‘Tom’ on the radio)
The PhD Trap
In Wonderland a PhD is almost a prerequisite for getting into certain specialties, making it relatively easy for professors to recruit PhD students to various projects. Sometimes the professors take credit for much of their work, or even refuse to grant them PhD degrees at the end of the study period – and they get away with it, too! For what happens if the students complain about having been used? –The medical hierarchy shuts them up, that’s what happens. Imagine how heartbroken and disappointed the PhD students are when they are ripped of the reward for all their labor, just like I was, and what a devastating effect it has on their mental health and career. For how are they to explain that they spent 3-5 years working on a project that did not result in a PhD or some other kind of scientific degree, and that they did not co-author all the articles they should have? It makes them look stupid, and it can significantly reduce their chances for getting into their specialty of choice and advancing within the medical world in general, because publicatons, PhDs, time and credibility are hugely important factors in the career race.
Sexism - everyday example
Hades once asked me to make coffee before a meeting. I reminded him that I was not a waitress, and asked whether he would ever ask a male student to do such a thing? Not surprisingly, he failed to come up with a suitable answer. I wonder how many women puke when they read this? Hm…
Suicide
People who commit suicide are often in a crisis. They often feel that they have failed at something and there is no hope of being able to achieve the things they want in life (ideals, expectations). They feel ashamed for their own shortcomings.
What helps when people feel suicidal
Feeling understood
Reclaiming hope
Getting in touch with your coping strategies
Revenge (removed from Chaper 53. Four Ways to Beat the Man)
“Is revenge important? Absolutely. But you have to redefine it, and take the high road, meaning that you adhere to the list of ‘4 ways to beat the man.’”
Anger, Grief, Fear and Forgiveness (removed from Chapter 61. Moving On)
“The anger burned so badly that it reminded me of a scene from a movie called ‘The Lobster,’ where a man is forced to stick his hand inside a glowing toaster and keep it there for the longest time as punishment for breaking the rules of an abusive community he belongs to. The grief was so heavy that I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest, and my breathing became laborious. The fear of the story repeating itself, and my not being able to make it in this world, made my stomach contract so intensely that it was as if an iron hand grabbed hold of it and squeezed it with all its might. Regarding forgiveness: it is actually painful and laborious to go around carrying a grudge towards someone. Anger, bitterness and self-pity generate physical discomfort and zap your energy. The negative thoughts associated with them take up a lot of space in your head, and you waist oceans of time ruminating about the past and planning future battles.”
Silence - An Evil Necessity Sometimes? (removed from Chapter 65. The Sound of Silence)
“The relief of letting my secret out has been enormous, but still to this day I have not told my parents about what happened. There is absolutely nothing they can do about it, and I’m afraid that the pain will simply be too much for them to bear. I’m so sad that I don’t dare share this with those who know me best and love me most. It says a lot about the power of the mighty monster and the damage it can do. Hiding it from certain people in order to prevent further harm is hard, but I see it as an evil necessity sometimes.”
The Monster Truck
I sometimes liken my personality to a monster truck, meaning that I am surprisingly strong. I love the 4WD, the huge tires and the turbo. I've often wonder why I was given such a powerful vehicle. After writing this book I’ve come ot realise that it is because I was designed to cover rough ground and explore territories that most people are not willing to venture into. I need all that horsepower.